Houseplants Circle Jerk

YOU’RE ALL OVERWATERING YOUR PLANTS AND IT’S OBVIOUS WHY YOUR HOUSEPLANTS ARE DYING


If your plants are struggling, it’s NOT because of "light" or "nutrients" — IT’S BECAUSE YOU KEEP BABYING THEM WITH WATER. Plants DO NOT NEED water more than once a month, MAX. In nature, there isn't someone going around and watering them every few days, so WHY are you doing it in your home?? Just LET 👏THEM 👏 THIRST 👏. If your plant droops, that means it’s growing STRONGER ROOTS.

Unless you are growing SWAMP PLANTS, it’s NOT HELPING. If your leaves are browning, that’s just them ADAPTING. That’s GOOD. BROWN LEAVES MEAN GROWTH! Don't even get me started on all these people "MISTING" their plants. If a plant wanted mist, IT WOULD GROW IN THE CLOUDS.

And stop with the “fertilizer” (aka SCAMilizer) nonsense. Plants eat SOIL. They don’t NEED you to feed them synthetic garbage. Literally, the dirt in your yard is better than ANYTHING you can buy. The “nutrients” plants need are actually just in the AIR — it's called nitrogen, carbon dioxide, and other stuff (Google or Ask Jeeves if you don't believe me). That's why outdoor plants grow better — it's called "wind."

But I’m sure some of you will keep coddling your plants like they’re dewicate wittle babies, wondering why they’re not growing. Hate to break it to you, but NATURE DOESN'T CARE about your fancy LED lights or overpriced soil mix. Just admit it — you don’t know how to care for plants the right way, and you refuse to accept that.

But go ahead and keep doing your 15-step plant routine if you don't believe me.

I'm sharing a pic of my thriving houseplant collection as proof (sorry for the ugly camera flash, there are no windows/light in this room). Look how long this bad boy is growing 😎.

by USACreampieToday

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