Many writers dread writing descriptions. It’s difficult to know what to include, and it requires a lot of mental energy to summon interesting details from one’s imagination. Description can involve the setting, an object, a character, actions, and even internal thoughts. It might entail an artfully placed sentence dancing between dialogue; a paragraph that grounds the reader in the scene; or pages of prose that sink deep into a particular subject.
Here, I share five guiding principles for describing a scene, along with five additional advanced strategies with in-depth examples.
Text version of this video: https://quotidianwriter.medium.com/the-ultimate-guide-to-writing-engaging-descriptions-in-fiction-91cefb2b4477
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TL;DR PRESS
Website: https://tldrpress.org
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SARAH L. HAWTHORN
Short Story – “A Doe in Crown Land” in QUEER BLADES: https://www.amazon.com/Queer-Blades-Anthology-LGBTQIA2-Adventure/dp/B09QP2364R/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=9798405485089&linkCode=qs&qid=1659986113&s=books&sr=1-1
Twitter: https://mobile.twitter.com/slhawthorn
JOE BUTLER
Novels – OF ALL POSSIBILITIES and STRANGE DAYS IN THE HOUSE OF AUGUST: https://www.amazon.com/All-Possibilities-Joe-Butler-ebook/dp/B0957T3B9B/ref=sr_1_2?crid=1P8LU0TVRAE85&keywords=OF+ALL+POSSIBILITIES&qid=1659985771&sprefix=of+all+possibilities+%2Caps%2C75&sr=8-2
Short Story – “A Small Life” in BANDIT FICTION: https://payhip.com/b/x0zN
Website: https://writelikeashark.com
Twitter: https://mobile.twitter.com/writelikeashark
MIA V. MOSS
Novella – MAI TAIS FOR THE LOST: https://www.amazon.com/Mai-Tais-Lost-Mia-Moss-ebook/dp/B09WZJX1B6/ref=sr_1_1?crid=JYW7YN5VT50S&keywords=mai+tais+for+the+lost&qid=1659985743&sprefix=mai+tais+for+the+lost%2Caps%2C97&sr=8-1
Short Story – “The Radiant Web” in STARSHIPSOFA: http://www.starshipsofa.com/blog/2021/01/06/starshipsofa-no-651-mia-moss/
Website: https://www.magicrobotcarnival.com
Twitter: https://mobile.twitter.com/atomicjackalope
ALEX LAUREL LANZ
Short Story – “Every Little Hair on Your Head” in SCARE STREET: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0B9T99R1H?tag=socialmediass-20&keywords=scary+horror+ghost+supernatural+stories
Short Story – “The Only Way Out Is Through” in TALES TO TERRIFY: https://talestoterrify.com/episodes/516-erik-mchatton-alex-laurel-lanz/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/alexlaurellanz
LYLE ENRIGHT
Short Story — “Bargaining” in SHORT EDITION:
https://short-edition.com/en/story/short-fiction/bargaining
Short Story — “Road Rage” in SPECULATIVE CITY:
Substack: https://lenright.substack.com
Twitter: https://mobile.twitter.com/YnysDyn
ADDITIONAL RESOURCES
“Description: Narrative Lensing” by David F. Shultz: https://davidfshultz.com/2017/03/26/description-narrative-lensing/
“On Writing: Great Character Descriptions!” by Hello Future Me:
“Exile” by Carolyn Forché (poem): https://www.lyrikline.org/en/poems/exile-12780
MAI TAIS FOR THE LOST excerpt narration by Simone Stivi: https://www.fiverr.com/listeninglydia?source=order_page_details_seller_link
“Every Little Hair on Your Head” excerpt narration by Liz Petersen:
https://www.fiverr.com/girlg0yle?source=order_page_summary_seller_link
Opening Animation by Vitor A. Dupont: https://www.behance.net/vitordupont
Title and End Music: “Clockwork” by Vindsvept – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Zl4EGLoiI8&t=83s
Background Music by Vindsvept:
+ “Keeper of the Forest”
+ “The Journey Home”
+ “Leaving the Dream”
+ “Alone”
+ “Skymning”
+ “Lycanthropy”
+ “Light the Bonfire”
+ “Deliverance”
+ “Wildfire, part two”
+ “Spirit of the Wind”
+ “The Forgotten Forest”
+ “Chasing Shadows”
Defining Descriptive Writing (0:00)
1. Focus on Details Specific to the Point of View (1:04)
2. Include the Senses (2:30)
3. Favor Strong Verbs and Adjectives (4:10)
4. Move the Narrative Forward (6:41)
5. Don’t Describe Everything (8:50)
6. Add a Character-Based Layer (10:13)
7. Imagine the Scene from a Fixed Point (14:52)
8. Decide How You Want the Scene to Feel (18:46)
9. Pair Descriptions with Actions (24:13)
10. Connect Similes and Metaphors to the Story World (28:42)
Descriptive Writing Exercise (32:41)
47 Comments
Hi there, viewers! You can read a text version of this video on Medium: https://quotidianwriter.medium.com/the-ultimate-guide-to-writing-engaging-descriptions-in-fiction-91cefb2b4477
How do you feel about chatgpt?
Well when I took a creative writing course in college. My professor had me try to describe walking into my room if I was blind.
Also a statement from a long lost poetry book I never found again.
“Describe a tree, so that it couldn’t possibly be mistaken for any other tree.”
I was looking forward for another video of yours, thank you, these tips are so useful 🙂
The return of the King… uh, Queen!
Great to see a new video, been looking forward to this! 😀
Where have you been? I'm pissed.
Wow, I've literally been watching your videos this past week helping me write, revise and edit my manuscripts.
Noticed you post roughly around every couple months and was bummed out —only to see today you posted. Thank you for all your great advice.
Quality over quantity in everything.
💜
Diane. How? How do you always manage to post about exactly what I’m struggling to write?! You always manage to break down the barriers in my mind and simplify the process in a way that feels manageable, doable. Thank you. Thank you always for posting such incredible content.
I'm grateful you're here <3
In my dystopian series, Elektra Voltare, the narrating main character acquires the ability to sense electromagnetic fields. She struggles to describe the sense by saying it is like describing color to the blind or music to the deaf. All the world is alive with swirling currents of electricity and all life has its own bio electric signature. That presented a bit of a challenge to describe.
In this dystopian future, in order to make the world more accessible to the reader, this main character is raised in the basement of a monastery and educated from encyclopedias published in 1988 (her mutant power absorbs electricity, so she cannot read from electronic devices and the society no longer uses paper). Her out-of-date knowledge allows her to describe the world as she encounters it in terms a reader from our time will understand.
For me, description derives from putting yourself in the place of the characters and sensing through their senses. The description follows where the character places her attention.
I loved this, like a gen-z finding that perfect tweet.
i fancy myself a horror writter; ..Although, my style is more of a "machine gun barrage" in description and simile. So I lean more towards the horrror side… but it seems; unless your "H.p Lovecraft" pages and pages of; rolling, unfurled, description, seems to be the "faux pas" of the creative writting world..hey I have a werewolf story….I was working on …saddly enough it also has two names as of late. Under working titles ("black lion" or "fireflies"). I was thinking of showing off a little but none of this is published or solisited….so who asked me? Besides everyone thinks their genius and everyone needs to refine. "shorten; tighten, condense and intensify" . Oh yeah and remember the main vein rule…heh, heh…"DONOT FALL IN LOVE WITH YOUR WORK"! I'm getting to the point where i love the; "rough draft, re-draft, draft and re-draft process.😁
My approach to writing description – (1) Write the scene based on verbs "VERB! That's what's happening!" to quote Grammar Rock. (2) Listen to YouTube writing lessons on Description to help me construct a better, more dynamic scene. (Big time underwriter, here.) I have to hash over each scene several times to eliminate cliches, awkward phrasing and rabbit trails. Sometimes I write the scene two or three times and save "the good parts" to build the final version of that scene. And I am NOT afraid to throw away anything!
I would like to add to this beautiful explanation.
Sometimes it's nice to intentionally withhold some descriptions. For instance, it can point to a blind spot of the character.
Example from a novel: the MC is a marchioness with a subdued gentle attitude of a slightly broken person. Sometimes painfully subdued and gentle. She is manipulative, mostly on defensive side. But the reader is told that she did awful things in cold blood in the past. She calmly acknowledges this fact in her head. It didn't fit up for me
But there were two scenes that pieced together the picture.
1. She visits incognito impoverished slums to find a specific person. Description just glosses over the people who were asking for money. They were mentioned in the passing, but from the prior plot reader is informed that these people are in really desperate condition. AND she keeps her gentle and subdued attitude when she talks to the local informant.
2. There was a failed assassination attempt from a jealous young girl of a lower rank. It was too clumsy and stupid to succeed, and that girl instantly regretted and pleaded guilty. Marchioness's decision? Execution on the spot, performed by a family member of that girl, so that at least the family won't suffer consequences. Description in this case glances over the emotions of the people involved. Basically, "if that's how things are in the world, I roll with it, emotions be damned". And MC still behaved herself in a gentle subdued manner without a glimpse of hatred. If anything she hated the incompetence of that girl.
The lack of description hit me hard. Partially because it showed the consistent potential for despicable evil that really existed all along.
I use it too. I think it works with threats: MC is attacked, but description's focus is placed on marginally related things. This way I showed the scale of a bigger threat looming ahead, or that the current threat is insignificant, or "the burden is too big, I guess it's fine if my journey ends here"
"There was a house sitting on the hill…"
Ok, POV is past tense. Has the house gone somewhere since? Is this a magic world? Did it get up and walk away? Howl's Moving Castle comes to mind. Wait… is this present tense? Is the house sneaking up behind me?
Word choice can make or break you. Some people like to use big words because they think it makes them sound clever. Problematic is a good example, because the people using it generally think that it is a problem that can be solved; but it is a problem that can only be managed within a selection of conflicting trade-off solutions; nourishment is problematic, hunting is a solution which is ideologically in conflict with other options.
I just recently got back my motivation to write so this is perfect timing
My problem with descriptions is my difficulty imagining them. My descriptions tend to be added in my second draft wheen I'm not racing to get everything out of my head before I forget. I like to slow right down and use ambiance tracks to get the imagary going, from there I sit back eyes closed and let the scene paint itself before I start singling important things out and then add the character's voice.
Diane thank you so much for the insightful video. I'm struggling with a particular scene in its sparse descriptions so these tips and advice are beneficial. Thanks again for all your hard work and I hope you have a healthy and happy new year. 🥰
I am thrilled to see a new video by you! Especially one on the longer side. I find your videos not only informative, but very soothing. Perfect for when I want to listen to writing advice, but I don't want to feel overwhelmed by it. Love your content, ty for making it. 🙏
Your writing videos are the only ones I actually enjoy watching and find beneficial! I’ve been rewatching your old videos, and I’m so glad you’ve posted again. Writing descriptions is going to be so much easier to approach now!!
oh so you did ask? sssssooooo Diane Callahan asked so how do I warm up the old whammy descriptive stuff and junk? i engage in a little form of plagiarism…😁 just kidding …when I want to venture into the bizarre i copy "I am the walrus" by the Beetles…just to get myself into the "flow" state but typically something… anything.. sometimes just hits me a certain way and i'm in agony until i get to something to write on; paper, voice recorder, computer it doesn't matter just something to record on and im pulling things outta my butt again…hey good stuff i like the sound of your voice…it reminds me to stay calm..good video good stuff just one thing and its a juvenile retarded idiot pet peeve of mine……….and its a gramatical thing and i am terrible at that anyway but it's ——>( ,and ) i cant stand that I have no idea why but its like a redundancy theres no comma before a conjunction no no no aaaaahhhhhhhh!😆😆😆😆😆😆😆why im that way i have no idea it just ……"erks my jerk"? "gets on my dick nerve"?"makes me throw a hissy fit"? and i make way more errors than that😄i have no idea why😄
Is nobody going to address that one scene where a man that the POV girl had murdered . . . . talked to her? More than a little jarring taken out of context.
As someone who merely reads a lot, these videos are informative in describing what I have noticed other writers do to describe scenes and emotions but could never articulate how.
Was most pleased to get another wonderful video from you. Wonderful work as always.
Thank you so much for your work, Diane. This video is helpful, yet reassuring.
As always, your videos help writers on a deeper level, Diane. I love them and watch them over again when I need to cement in the subtleties of a writing concept. I read (and am writing) historical fiction, and nothing blasts me out of the story like clunky metaphors/similes that include anachronisms. Red velvet cake on the American frontier circa 1860? I almost threw the book across the room. 🙁 I'll take a place-holder metaphor that's a cliche, and work it into something that reflects the character's world and POV. I'll also take a scene that's on the 'white room' side, and look at it like I'm a movie director, filling in background and adding relevant external forces (wind, rain, birds swooping down) to give the characters something interesting to react to during dialogue. I watch a lot of Youtube videos of things outside my personal experience, such as black powder shooting, horse behavior, and tours of Mid-western historic homes and Western museums. Period diaries (Civil War/Oregon Trail, etc.) are also great for picking up details that can be described in a scene to add authenticity.
This video is so awesome. You're section on pairing description with action feels like it'll be a real game changer for my writing. Thank you!
I like using ironic similes and metatphors. "The books feel on his face as graceful as an avalanche of bricks would have." To say not graceful at all.
For myself, so far in my writing endeavors, I find that less is sometimes more. I tend to overdo exposition and spatial descriptions. Sometimes when I've pounded out 500 or 1,000 words, I look at the physical structure of the what I've written, and while it isn't a blob of Faulknerian exposition/description dumps, I still have these sizable blocks of descriptions. The question I ask myself then is this: does this add to the movement of story or does it bog the reader down in tedious details that won't have any payoffs later? In excess of 80% of the time, I end up breaking up the chunky slabs and find some other way of weaving the descriptions into the narrative, via dialog or via action.
As to the descriptions themselves, I favor a mix between the Spartan Cormac McCarthy style of writing where the repetition of important words and keying into particular descriptions flesh out the world for the reader, and Stephen King's style of describing where he finds details and digs into them and digs into them until something juicy oozes out.
But as you wrote somewhere in your responses in the comments, it's really what feels right for you, for the story, and for the moment you're writing that determines what and how things are described. There ain't a right or wrong answer. There's only what works or what doesn't.
Thus endth the opinion.
Do you think you could talk about the “overarching message” of books – the point, the truth or lessons within books. How to figure out what your message is, and maybe examples from you books or others? This is something I’m struggling with and I can’t find a lot of recourses on the topic..
No adds? No sponsor? No Patreon? This is gold and its free. Thanks for your hardwork Diane… we appreciate it. Thank you
Really useful advice. Thanks!
Another excellent video. The guests and their choices of excerpts were terrific and instructive! I can vouch for the TL;DR Word Herd Flash Fiction competition. I entered last year, receiving the random prompts "Monsters" and "Glassblowing", and so I created a story about a family of monsters enjoying a day out, blending in during the Halloween event at a Renaissance Faire. My story wasn't chosen, but it was a ton of fun to write and great for practicing how to utilize all five senses while building a concise, entertaining story. Also, the feedback from the judges was helpful! I'm going to keep on trying until one of mine makes the cut. The stories that won last year were all worthy, and the first place winning story, 'For Infinity', about an astronaut telling a joke to their psychologist, was poignant and exceptional.
The audio is a bit low.
This was a wonderful video. Love the channel
Enright's bit was so goof I recoiled and aufibly said "Wow." For some reason the similes and character thought hit me hard.
Love your peaceful videos and "out of the box" writing examples. 😊
As it seems like you read every comment you get, I'd like to thank you for making such useful videos! Not only are they way more densely packed with information and advice than most tutorials I've found (including published ones), but the atmosphere you cultivate – with your calm voice, the pleasant visuals, the super relaxing music – is so calming, it quells all the usually overwhelming anxiety that comes with learning new skills!
Hi! Thank you for your informative videos. Could you do one on how to workshop a story idea?
This has to be my favourite channel! Not only are the videos so genuinely helpful but they're so lovely to watch and listen to 💕
The video I didn't know I needed. Amazing work, as ever. I always wondered what was lacking in my prose, and, well… Now I know (at least partially)! Thank you so much for the effort you put in.
Were you dead?
Btw
I really like your videos, it helps a lot. I hope you upload the next video soon
Our great friend returns with more tales from the land of writing! Thanks for great video! Keep writing 🙂
diane: focus on strong adjectives
me: like "muscular teeth" and "clockwise vaginas"
Relevance to character is something I constantly forget, yet it seems to be THE thing, ALL things, that make the description what it is.
T E A L D E E R ?
Incredible, staggering genius.
Snap, I didn't know she made a new video 😭😭😭